Category: The Trojan Horse

[The Trojan Horse] Return of the “German Angst”

October 27, 2018

(hh) – The two train tragedies and the government measures that followed frightened the German public. Even businesses are anxious. People started hoarding random supplies such as food and drinks but also the hardware stores are being emptied as they do not know what or who they are actually preparing themselves against. Regulations from the states officials are not easing the situation. The limitation on cash withdrawal and transfers to only 1000€ per day has spurred the public’s anxiety on. “Just a basic, normal security measure.”, is Vice-Chancellor Seehofers response to the public insecurity. A cyber attack is a new challenge to the German Government as it is right now worldwide.

A competent source informed this newspaper, that the German stop on railway operations was mainly caused by the high cost of losing trains in accidents. Apparently, the commission is shocked about Germany ruining the EU economy. But taking action is not a very European virtue, so after expressing their disapprovement, they had to urgently leave off for lunch.

[The Trojan Horse] Total mayhem all over Germany

October 27, 2018

(br) – In the aftermath of the recent train crashes, which resulted in more than 200 casualties, the German government stopped all train service leading to a total traffic chaos. In fear of losing control of  its rioting citizens, the German government decided to reinvoke border controls by the federal police. A high ranking government official told us exclusively that Germany even plans to deploy troops of the Bundeswehr if the situation does not improve.

[The Trojan Horse] PUB CRAWL: It´s wine o´clock

October 27, 2018

(ah) – Good morning people! This journalist is ready to broadcast the night of yesterday.

They told me that the dinner was good.  At the exit we found the excom doing squats and jumping, yes, new method to wake up, yes, at nine in the evening.

Before the start of the pub crawl, we were divided into groups. I have to denounce it, the press was not in any, very sad. But don’t worry, we became part of the Germany cabinet.

The Pub Crawl starts: 1st place failed, however, in the second we could all sit and share. Angela Merkel has good stories and tips on “how to lose flights” ask her, she does know what she is talking about.

And how could it be otherwise, the shots came to us. Thanks to the backroom member for their hospitality, where they fit two, they fit three, right?

What about you? Did you have fun yesterday? Did you spot something to gossip about? Just send it to the gossip box and we will talk about it!

[The Trojan Horse] Infrastructure breakdown: Riots all over Germany

October 26, 2018

(br) – Peaceful protest demanding more government action on the two train crashes turned violent by thousands of frightening citizens in the Geerman cities of Dortmund, Essen, Bochum and Berlin as the medical supplies are not delivered due to infrastructure breakdown in all of Germany. There are also fears of a total transport breakdown, which would lead to shortcuts in supermarket supply.

[The Trojan Horse] Exclusive: Interview with President Donald Trump. Inside news from the White House

October 26, 2018

(ah) – The real Donald himself demanded an interview with us, and we have not been reluctant! I find myself in the White House and listen (carefully) to what the US government is discussing. They propose to support Germany (in what?). I see a lot of interaction in the committee, everyone is participating. It seems that not only the press is working hard. They catch me listening, bad luck.

ah: Concerning the recent events about the death of Cruz due to a leak in a cyber-security system, how can you assure the midterm elections are going to be secure?

dt: we still not have all the information of what happened in Cruz´s house, the information is not sophisticated, but the voting process is much simpler than the smart house system. We are sure that everything is controlled and we have no doubt that there won´t be a possibility to hack the system.

At this moment of the interview, Donald Trump begins to sing the hymn (confirmed, he knows the lyrics).

ah: what is your personal connection with cross family? Personal relation?

dt: Of course Cruz was a great friend, he was really supportive, it was a pleasure to work with him and I am very sorry for his loss, I send my condolences to his whole family.

I hope to find someone worthy to replace him and thus get Texas to remain republican.

We have sufficient resources to carry out the investigation of who is behind the murder. We have an action plan, we will find out and there will be serious consequences.

I also want to appoint the hostile behaviour the German Chancellor is having, I have always considered Germany to be a great ally. However, Germany without the United States is a much worse scenario than the United States without Germany. If she wants to continue deteriorating the relationship between the US and Germany, it’s up to her.