Le Sapeur Observant

(Not only) satire news during the simulation – run by Press Committee

Authentic footage of Paul Biya’s close call

Trump abandoned Movie star/goddess

(BR) Angelina is home!! The American actress/actual wonder woman was rescued by Ivorian security forces. But where were the US?? President Trump, who showed actually almost no interest in the wellbeing of US citizens abroad ever was reported to actively ignoring the crisis playing golf with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. Those poor female Mar-a-Lago employees….

New Nigerian government accuses Boko Haram of killing predecessors

(HK, BM) As the former Minister of Interior and now temporal president of Nigeria states the president as well as the vice president were brutally killed by members of Boko Haram this morning. Former Minister of Defense now vice president is certain that thorough investigations in this matter and with the help of the military it will be a matter of days to tackle these terrorists and take revenge on those murders.

The question is still is this just a very intelligent form of an overthrough of the former government? Does the Nigerian really has nothing to worry about as the new vice president stated.

President Trump stated “We don’t care.” The government of the PRC stated they looked forward to working with the new government.  The Cameroonian Minister for Foreign Afffairs said: “We’re sorry for them, but we sort of did the same.”

Drug corruption rampant in Cote d’Ivoire cabinet!

(TR) A member of the Cote d’Ivoire ministerial cabinet concerned about drug corruption in the government spoke to us in confidence, wishing to remain anonymous.

Sapeur: You told us certain members of the Cote d’Ivoire administration are complicit in the drug trade stretching from the West African coast as far north as Germany. Can you tell us which ministers were responsible?

Cabinet source: Yes. The Minister of the Interior and Security organised drug deals and profited personally.

Sapeur: How did you come to this information?

Cabinet source: There was a decadent party featuring exotic American dancers and 100 year old French wine financed by these illicit dealings to which all ministers were invited.

Sapeur: So you were present at this party?

Cabinet source: Yes. I was investigating my concerns that my colleagues were corrupt. Regretfully, I have found my suspicions were well founded.

Medals and honors – does the world have nothing else to do?

(EK) The last three days, we had a number of awards and honors, e.g. Nigerian soldiers were honored by their Chief of Defense Staff for indescribably discipline, the president of Ghana awarded the fallen US captain with the medal for Gallantry. Also two journalists were honored, one by China for great commitment for press freedom and the other by Nigeria as a journalist of excellence.

We have several crises in the Gulf of Guinea and probably not every conflict will be solved soon. Is a row of awards an appropriate reaction to that? The Sub-Saharan Star is convinced: For solving most of the crisis, even award number 27.319 is not useful, but better would be a decent salary reduction for the government members.

Catastrophe in Ghana; Water contaminated – US want to help – Radioactive eco-terror?

(BM) Today at 10am a Ghanaian bauxite mine was struck by a yet unknown accident. Locals reported that their water supply started smelling toxic and informed the district government. The bauxite mine is run by the Chinese corporations Sinohydro. As of now, reports indicate that the long-term damage is already done. New-borns show abnormalities, but it is yet unclear how severe the physical and psychological damage will be.

The US government stated they were willing to help. So long, no specifics about the aid were released. Countries worldwide sent in their condolences.

As it is yet unclear why and how the bauxite mine contaminated the water supply of Ghana, speculations circulate about the true cause of the accident. Experts say it could be a new dimension of terror. The news team of Radio Ghana indicated the use of a dirty bomb or other radioactive weapon for this attack. That would explain the abnormal new-borns.

Opinion: Is Boko Haram out of their mind??

(BR) The terror organization Boko Haram has just called Angelina Jolie, the goddess of killing people while dangling on the hood of a car, an “evil bitch”! In a statement written in terrorist that we were able to translate, the organization insulted the beautiful, strong movie star and also confessed to abducting her and planning to kill her for the glory of god.

When is President Trump going to step in and stop them from insulting our best and brightest? And maybe stopping the killing in the rotten nation of Cameroon? Getting stepped on is not what we expected, when he said there would be so much winning.

The man behind Xi

(BM) Who is the man behind Chinese expansion in West Africa? Who is capable of selling thousands of kilometres of railway to Nigeria, Cameroon and Cote d’Ivoire? The Sapeur Observant takes you on a visit to his home.

Zhong Shan is a humble man. Many underestimate him and get proven wrong. His mind is as sharp as a sickle and if he speaks, Xi listens to his words as if they were the melodic thunder of battle tanks rolling over Tian’anmen. Mao died soon after his birth. Chinese all over the world celebrated the death of the glorious leader – he joined the party.
His home estate is modest, a meager dozen square kilometres of parks and houses on the outskirts of Beijing. Miniature railways cross the landscape and choo-choo around. “Railways are politics with money, while politics is railways without money.”, he often says, and although nobody ever got the point of that quote, China is building railways. Zhong’s kids love building toy infrastructure as much as their father and want to become Ministers of Commerce just as he did.

Last year, tragedy hit Zhong’s house. His wife, Ty Pei, had a hard time, being often described as “tired and emotional”. He cared for her as long as he could, but after half a year he couldn’t handle it anymore. He looked for a place where she could recover and found a paradise: physical activity on fresh air, great panorama and lovely people were to be found in Tibet.

“It is better to build two thousand kilometres of railways than to read the Mao bible thousand times.”, he states. His legacy is made of steel.

China extends influence in West Africa

(EK) A few minutes ago, a contract was signed by China, Ghana and Cote d’Ivoire. The contract is called “eternal friendship treaty” and is about a railway connection between Ghana and Cote d’Ivoire, built by a Chinese company. China emphasized for several times, it would be their interest promoting trade in West Africa and helping the contract partners to have progress in a shaken part of the world. But to be honest, you don’t have to have studied political science to understand it is mainly about economical interest by China to establish also in this part of the world while striving to become the biggest global player. Are countries, affected by crisis in the gulf of guinea, able to free from their dependence to China in the long run?

Trump still in charge of America?

(BM) As news reach us that the Director of National Intelligence of the US is heavily criticizing his own boss, the leader of the free world for considering using serious means against a hostile nation, the question is raised if Donald J. Trump is in fact still the strong leader of America as we know him?

After the recent defections of various staffers, the treacherous impeachment case and the recent letting go of Mike Pompeo things seem not that stable in the White House, unlike the president himself of whom we all know that he is a “stable genius”. After the (failed) surgical military interventions in Nigeria maybe it’s now time for a more archaic approach, Mr. President?

Cameroon: Adventures of a Desperate Minister of Defence

(EK) After the famous American actor Angelina Jolie has been kidnapped yesterday evening, General René Claude Meka will do everything to save the hot lady. It might mainly be out of personal interest – he is not happy with his 17 years old wife anymore and plans to replace her. But seriously, what is he dreaming of? What about emigrating to an Arabian country, an amount of more or less 16 different wives is not unusual there…

The minister’s personal presumption is that Boko Haram is responsible for the kidnapping, but it would be just a theory so far.

More information will be published soon. And we can assume that, since an anonymous informer managed to hack René’s computer and found out he is obsessed with Angelina and watched all her movies. He even possesses a signed underpants that he bought on the internet for 260.000 $.

It seems to be trendy kidnapping American citizens in view of the recent abduction of an American journalist in Cameroon yesterday.

Is the world going to see a wedding that nobody expected and can this cover up one or another crisis in the gulf of guinea?

Nigerian Minister failing his ski lessons just like security situation

(BR) The Nigerian Minister of the Interior is taking a “well deserved” vacation in Switzerland as his country sinks into chaos after numerous terrorist attacks and rising tensions with Cameroon and the USA.

He is currently staying in a ski in the town of St. Moritz with his wives. Reports out of the hotel personnel state that he is quite an extravagant guest, requesting baths in caviar, for his pet tiger to be fed with only the finest Swiss mountain goats and orders that his wives should stay over in the next valley. As confidential sources from his team of ski instructors tell us, he is doing that so he would not be distracted during his lessons, for he is quite eager, but absolutely talentless.

Breaking: US threatens action against Cameroon

(TR, BM)  The US Director of National Intelligence was approached for comment on the article published in the Sub Saharan Star regarding a kidnapped and killed American journalist.

The Sapeur: What steps will the US take in response to the reported death of this journalist?

Director: No casualties of US citizens will go without repercussions.

The director gave no further details on what measures will be taken. It is questionable whether the government was in fact aware of the incident despite previous press coverage. All eyes are on the US president to restore the security of American citizens worldwide. Democrats in the US House led by Nancy Pelosi call for immediate impeachment. 

Will Ghana and Côte d’Ivoire soon be receiving wedgies soon on the metaphorical schoolyard?

(BR) Côte d’Ivoire and Ghana are more and more perceived the unpopular overachieving nerds of the Gulf of Guinea as apparently everything over there is working fine as the rest of the region is spiralling more and more into mayhem. With peace between settlers and nomads in Ghana and highly educated teachers swarming into Côte d’Ivoire.

Correction: Ambazonia interview

(TR) Following the interview with the self proclaimed president of so called Ambazonia, we realized the infringement of Cameroon’s sovereignty that this terrorist group represents. The president is of course just another fraud who will soon be held responsible for his violent actions.

(Note: I feel strongly after my visit to Cameroon that my earlier report was incorrect. Our integrity is at stake.)

The Nigerian Prince got scammed

(BR) Reports reached the Sapeur that apparently Cameroonian hackers tried to hack and spy on the Nigerians and especially their trade policies. Just days ago, almost in anticipation Nigeria hired additional staff to tackle the issue of Cyber Security. Unfortunately, the so called “experts” were not very experienced so the scramblers used in the region killed basically all communication in the area.

Is the U. S. Blackmailed by terrorists? – US defeated in Abuja; all hostages dead – Americas security at stake? – Nigeria protests against US intervention

(BM) President Trump tweeted today the US would not be blackmailed. Nonetheless special forces tried to head-first storm the US embassy at Abuja that is currently held by terrorists, as the Trump administration was blackmailed into action by Islamist terrorists belonging to ISIS. Critics state that the outcome of such an reckless operation was foreseeable. According to the Minister of Interior of Nigeria, he warned the US to take such an action without consulting and planning with the Nigerian security forces.

As of know it seems that all hostages are dead. After an attack helicopter was shot down by the terrorists, an explosion allegedly killed all hostages held in the embassy. World-wide security of American personnel seems at stake. Who is responsible for the clear defeat and disaster is not yet clear, but fingers point towards president Trump.

American drone strike kills Nigerian civilians

(BR) At 4pm local time a US predator-drone struck what was thought to be a terrorist hideout of the “Islamic State West African Province”. In fact, the US killed around 30 civilians celebrating a wedding in a farming compound in northern Nigeria. This comes at a time as the US have a difficult stand in the region with their embassy in Abuja currently being the scenery to a hostage situation, recently an American killed by pirates and American influence in the Region declining and other superpowers filling in. Meanwhile striking foreign civilians with drones Donald Trump hypocritically tweeted about how the Nigerian special forces had civilian casualties in an operation stating that he is “SO sorry to hear that Nigerian military forces killed people of their own country!!”.

ISIS threatens Gulf of Guinea region

A new video of ISIS circulates social media

MEND – liberation front or retail company?

(BR) With the newest development in the case of bomb threats by MEND against the Nigerian government, the so-called liberation army “generously” granted an extension of the deadline. This comes as a surprise that a group who has fought violently against the government since 2006 killing and bombing to make their demands heard. MEND currently wants to push the government to “Environmental reparation to the people of Nigeria” and social and economic action favouring all Nigerian people. But did the hardened terrorists get soft?

Opinion: Abuja – Pompeo’s Benghazi?

(TR) The American Embassy in Abuja was brutally attacked today and the embassy staff taken hostage. With an unknown number of casualties and a complete failure of security forces to prevent this tragedy, we must ask — how did the US State Department allow this to happen?

In 2012, an attack on the US Embassy in Benghazi, Libya led to a grueling, unending sequence of Congressional investigations and panels on the supposed failure of then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to adequately prepare US embassies for attacks. In Benghazi, there were casualties as well but the situation was controlled shortly thereafter. In Abuja, the US State Department has allowed the assailants to gain full control of the embassy and hold its entire staff hostage. The scale of this catastrophe can’t be overstated.

But now all eyes are on Pompeo — this is without question the biggest test he’s faced in office, and it’s hard to argue so far that he has not failed. Will he face the same kind of Congressional scrutiny Clinton did?   

Cote d´Ivoire: Refugee crisis – Structural problems in the Ivorian military?

(HK) In order o clarify the rumour that the incident of one death in front of a refugee camp the Ivorian Minister of Interior and Security gave Le Sapeur Observant a statement via interview.

„First it is important to state, that the crisis is not getting out of hand. The incident of the killing of a young Ivorian citizen is a tragic individual case and is no reason to think there would be a structural problem of misused military power. The criminal behaviour of an individual soldier is in no form representative of the Ivorian military and is strongly condemned by the Ivorian government. They are doing everything in their power to initiate a proper investigation. Furthermore there are no indicators of a general uprising, the angry mob blocking the caravan has to be seen as an individual case as well.“

It is indeed possible it could be the case of a very confused young soldier who was just overwhelmed by the situation but wouldn´t this be a shocking real structural problem oft he Ivorian government as well? It would indicate at least that the soldiers in the military do not have much experience with riots, if there was a clear directive of the Ivorian government „to not use any gun violence against civiliance“. Or even worse, does the Ivorian government have lost control over the military?

Even more inconvenient seems the declaration the angry mob was an individual cause when there are indicators stating that the reason for this riot are of a structural kind.

Fake news and friendships across borders

(AS) Fake news can have many different impacts: ranging from harmless misinterpretations to countries on the brink of war. Therefore, it is even more important to distinguish between fake news and the reality. In this precise case the reality is made up of a cohesive and cooperative relationship between Nigeria and Cameroon. A relationship that should not be at stake because of fake news! While Nigeria is still talking about tensions at the Nigerian-Cameroonian border, we feel the need to remind the country of their own statement about the cross-border work against terrorism and the collaborations with Cameroon in the past. We hope that a collaborative relationship will be maintained in the future and that a possible conflict at the border will be prevented. Do not give fake news a chance!

Terrorism, drop in oil production, what might happen next? : Let us wait and see

(AS) Time is a valuable resource and time is running out in the case of the threat the MEND is constituting. The Nigerian militant group is threatening to bomb oil refineries in less than two hours, but the Nigerian government remains silent. It is the People’s Republic of China that has made efforts in order to appease the MEND by responding to two of their three demands and by trying to initiate negotiations between Nigeria and the MEND. But where is Nigeria hiding? The country reacted by a fierce statement rejecting any form of black-mailing.

One could think that it takes a drop of the oil production to a 10-year low so that Nigeria reacts. But that still seemed to be not enough. Instead, Nigeria is congratulating other countries on their friendship. What else does have to happen within the next hour in order for Nigeria to wake up and to negotiate?

Nigeria: The Female is Rising – the future is female!

(HK) In the light of a sad anniversary – 5 years ago Boko Haram kidnapped 267 schoolgirls – the Nigerian government recieved a large amount of financial aid (50 million dollars!) by the American government to invest in Girls Education. And this is just one in a series of events that prove feminism in Nigeria is rising.

Stay healthy, stay hydrated! – Five things to stay healthy at TICS 2019

(BR) As we all know international summits and crises can be extremely exhausting and stressful for dem juicy delegate bods. Here are ten tips to stay sharp in body and mind while solving one crisis after another:

Personal trainer and health journalist Benedikt in an active break

1. Drink: no matter what, your body needs fluids to stay as vivid as you need it to be for the active program for TICS 2019

2. Sleep: an average adult needs at least 7.5… ah who am I kidding, just make sure that you do not look like you´re straight coming out of a crack den the next morning

3.Move yo’ ass: sitting is the new smoking and as we all know smoking is literally the worst thing a human can do, ever. Get up once in a while, move your legs!

4. Yoga: as we all are spoilt millennial brats everyone knows about yoga, so get your mats on the floor and do the warrior pose while invade somebody…

5. aerate the shit out of your windows: without fresh air and oxygen you might get so dizzy you launch rockets to the wrong country, send arms to your enemy or publish fake news. So at least every 30min open your windows and let that sweet, sweet oxygen in!

Interview with Ambazonian president Sisiku Ayuk Tabe Julius

(TR) Following the mass shooting in Douala which the Cameroonian government claimed was the work of “Abazonian terrorists”, Le Sapeur sat down with Interim President Sisiku Ayuk Tabe Julius to discuss his perspective.

Sapeur: As an English speaking minority in Cameroon, what are the key challenges facing Ambazonia? What sort of prejudices or injustices do you perceive your people to be subject to?

Julius: It is very clear the government does not consider the English speaking minority to be equal citizens under the law with the same rights and privileges. We do not have access to the same services or basic provisions as the French speaking citizens. We feel stereotyped and unfairly punished as a group for the behaviour or actions of individuals upon which blame must rightly be placed –the reaction of the Cameroon government to this mass shooting in Douala is a perfect example.

Sapeur: The Cameroonian Minister of External Relations claims the mass shooting was the work of “Amazonian terrorists.” Can you clarify for us whether this shooting was performed by armed forces under your command — do you claim responsibility?

Julius: No. We are not responsible. This was the work of two individuals.

Sapeur: You told Le Sapeur earlier that the English speaking minority was not being included in the teaching seminar where the shooting took place. In what way were you excluded?

Sapeur: The French-speaking school system does not respect us. Our teachers were not invited and the seminar was given solely in French. It is just one more example of the rights and services Ambazonians are being denied.

Sapeur: Can you elaborate on which services the English speaking minority in Ambazonia are being denied?

Julius: Well, the Cameroonian central government has declared a state of emergency in the area and has shut down key infrastructure.

Sapeur: What sort of key infrastructure? How is this affecting Ambazonians?

Julius: They have shut down public access to the internet throughout the region. Further, police have established a curfew in an attempt to restrict freedom of association.

Sapeur: If these services were restored and the curfew lifted, would your government-in-exile be open to peaceful talks with Cameroon?

Julius: We would consider it a first step, and a show of good faith, but more is needed.

Opinion: The New World Order

(BM) Where are you, Uncle Sam?, the world wonders. The last days have shown some of the biggest crises West Africa has seen in a long time. The armed conflicts in Nigeria and Cameroon get worse by the minute, oil leaks devastate the Gulf of Guinea and an Islamist terror organization bombs oil fields in the Niger Delta. Only a few years ago, the fishermen of the Cote d’Ivoire would have seen the US Navy cruising the coastline, the hostages in Ghana would have been freed by Navy SEALs and Ambazonia would have seen an intervention by Blue-helmets.

These times seem to be over. The USA seem inactive in the crises of the Gulf of Guinea. They don’t seem to be interested in anything apart from condolences. Meanwhile, China takes the lead. Trade deals with several West African countries and the founding of the Sun-Tzi-Foundation show how the People’s Republic fills the space the USA left open for too long.

Is this a danger for Africa? Maybe. But isn’t it worth a shot to secure economic growth and prosperity for the peoples of Africa? The events of recent days show us one thing clearly: The Old World Order has died with Americas will to help.

Opinion: Are the Nigerians turning a blind eye to terrorism?

(BR) Something is wrong in the state of Nigeria… Not quite in the Shakespearean sense but in the sense of incredibly odd decisions by the Nigerian government. The resolution in question is the one about apparently decreasing the military presence in the area ravaged by terror groups and insurgent movements… that’s right, they are reducing troops in one of their most instable and violent region, the Niger Delta. According to a press release the military is pulling out troops that are currently engaged in combat against armed rebels like the Niger Delta Avengers (and no, they are not dressed up as superheroes), and the most notorious MEND. The decision of pulling back for some kind of deescalating purposes comes at an interesting time, just as the security and governmental situation in the neighbouring country of Cameroon continues to be highly unstable. In addition to that the whole region is involved in some weird power shift, as anti-colonial Chinese money and troops step by step replace the imperialist American influence in the Region. We’ll see…

Ted Talk: African pride

(HK) The Nigerian government just confirmed that there will be a series of 6 Ted Talks on the topic of „Self-Confident Nigerians“. The government hopes to show young people what possibilities they can have and what fellow countrymen did accomplish. They invited six famous Nigerians – among them the human rights activist Dr. Funke Abimbola, musician 2face Idibja and actress Nattissar Abdullah – to come talk about their lifes and how they got where they are now. The Ted Talks will be for free and held at the three Nigerian universities, in Abujah, Lagos and Bayero.

Nigerian musician 2face is among the speakers of the new TedTalk series

With so much going on at the moment–some even see Nigeria at the brink of a war–it may seem strange to get engaged in such a matter. But it is indeed important to show people that there is more than murder and homicide, and the pollution of livelihood in Nigeria. And that they can be proud of their origin and future. Giving hope may hear like a helpless action but it can held real power itself too. It seems to be better for young people orientating at famous human right activists rather than famous terrorist group leaders.

As long as it remains #selfconfidentNigerians and does not turn into #MakeNigeriaGreatAgain it may actually help the people in Western African states to bond about their proud of African origin, in African pride.

The Cabinet of Nigeria – a place where corruption cannot be found

(AS) The back and forth in the merely hypothetical case of corruption in the Nigerian defense ministry has been taken to a new level: Surprisingly, the government once again denied the accusations involving the Minister of Defense by stating that there was “no corruption found in Nigerian government”. Despite the fact that a whistleblower from the Ministry of Defense himself accused the minister of bribing reliable sources and receiving information from the Head of the National Intelligence Agency.

Nevertheless, the Nigerian government is convinced that such an unrealistic assumption cannot be further from the truth. Interestingly, Nigeria has been ranked as the 144 least corrupt nation out of 175 countries, according to the Corruption Perceptions Index 2018. It seems that the Nigerian government is the island of integrity in a country full of bribery!

Ghanaian Defence Minister in Interview about the recent hostage crisis

(BR) In an interview with Le Sapeur Observant this morning the Ghanaian Minister of Defence made a statement about the course in the operation to free crew members of an oil tanker kidnapped off the coast of Ghana. She stated that the captain, a seasoned American sailor, in fact tried to free himself and his personnel and at one point even obtained a weapon. Sadly, he was then killed by the hostage-takers, according to the Minister. For his actions of immense bravery, the Captain will posthumously receive the Medal of Gallantry for the Ghanaian President. She also stated, that Ghana is glad to know, that there are “brave American people” in their country.

Star: In the effort to save and rescue the crew members of the Oil tanker it seemed, that the operation was actually focused on the one American and not so much, if at all, on the Filipinos. Was there a directive that his life was indeed “worth more”?

Minister: Totally not. We were wondering about that ourselves and were surprised that the international community mainly mourned the American captain, which is why we focused our research on him. Our thoughts are also with the families of the Filipino sailors.

Star: Do you have any more information about the perpetrators? Were they linked to any kind of organization?

Minister: They are definitely not linked to any organization whatsoever.

Star: The fact that they hijacked an entire oil tanker in open water way off the coast must require logistical support. How is this possible without an organization?

Minister: Apparently, they are pretty good criminals and it is to mention, that the oil tanker had no additional armed forces on board.

Star: Do you suggest that from now on all cargo ships in the region should be equipped with expensive armed personnel?

Minister: That is obviously a solution that we can and should discuss, however it is important to know, that we as Ghana, as a country cannot assure you this. Maybe that is an issue that maybe the oil companies need to discuss.

Star: So, you as Minister of Defence are in fact stating that your government can not guarantee the safety of international trade in your territory?

Minister: I´m stating that we need to tackle this issue as an international community and even if we secure our waters, a few miles further to the west, they would be in unsafe waters again.

Star: The fact that Hostages were taken is a rather new development in the strategy of pirates in the region, which was until now to kill the crews and sell the goods of the ships. How do you explain this shift in practice?

Minister: I suppose, they wanted the money.

Star: You mean the money they could have gotten by just taking the tanker, without having to care for and hide Hostages for days?

Minister: I suppose they thought it was easier. I don’t know, they were definitely criminals not linked to any kind of organization, maybe they decided to try something new.

Concerns about safety of Angelina Jolie in West Africa

(TR) Le Sapeur was approached for an interview with a highly placed Ivorian official with security concerns regarding the UNHCR Special Envoy visiting their country – according to our source, the envoy is US actress and humanitarian Angelina Jolie.

Sapeur: Thank you for coming to us. Can you elaborate on the security concerns you mentioned?

Ivorian official: We take the safety of foreign officials and diplomats very seriously. While the Cote d’Ivoire is a safe country, we wish to completely guarantee the health and wellbeing of our guests.

Sapeur: But you say the special envoy is causing difficulties for you?

Ivorian official: In a way, yes. Though we try to be accommodating of requests, the special envoy is very insistent that she leave the designated safe areas our security escort has marked for her.

Sapeur: Are there areas of the country you would consider dangerous?

Ivorian official: There are certainly difficulties in guaranteeing security in some open or rural areas due to geography, demographics and so on.

Sapeur: Would you say your country’s position is made difficult by the combination of international pressure and the uncooperative attitude of this Western guest?

Ivorian official: Yes.

Cote d´Ivoire sets the tone

(HK) So the next big thing in the states at the Gulf of Guinea is to focus on education – apparently. Cote d´Ivoire takes the lead, Ghana and Cameroon are following. Cameroon also seems to recognize improving educational programs as long term strategy for terrorism prevention. (Revolutionary? Doubtful.) Also the sponsoring of these program by the People´s Republic of China may seem more generous than it will be in realitas. It may be time to acknowledge that in this world there is no state giving money and asking nothing in return. The Ghanaian government is also taking an effort in proving they care about their people by recognizing the need for further education. They even made the conclusion that education is an important factor contributing to the future of their country. (Hello Captain Obvious.) So secondly it may also be the time to tackle the problem at the root and discuss the impact of corrupt elites and the fact that the current Ghanaian president Nana Akufo-Addo finished his school career in Sussex, England.

Angeline Jolie on a mission for refugees in Cote d’Ivoire

(EK) The legendary actor Angelina Jolie is in Cote d’Ivoire right now!
She is ambassador for a taskforce sent to Abidjan by the UN Refugee Agency (UNHCR) to manage the refugee crisis in Ghana/Cote d’Ivoire.

The enormous number of refugees has its origin in the settler-nomad conflict in the north of Ghana.  The taskforce consists of three UN employees as well as Angelina Jolie, UNHCR Special Envoy. She will visit one of the refugee camps in the north of Cote d’Ivoire in order to evaluate the situation directly. It might be a good idea including such a prominent personality to get medial attention. However, the situation for the taskforce is kind of dangerous and they have to follow strict safety requirements.

French teachers are taking the streets

(BR) The French employees are on it again, now having a new reason to play hookie from work by declaring themselves solidary to the movement of teachers in the US. The Protests, originally about psychological care in Schools, were gaining momentum after the tragic death of a 15 year old student at a demonstration in Chicago. The French protesters are also criticising the „horrible conditions in French schools“ in special regard to psychological care and are demanding more counselors to be put in schools. Additionally they are demanding better wages and more vacation time.

As of right now, there are thousands of school employees and students protesting in Paris, planning to march on the Ministry of Education later today.

„Witch“ exonerated, rebel scum responsible!!

(BR) In the case of the horrible kidnapping and following murder of the beloved General and Minister of Defense of Cameroon, the equally beloved and goodlooking Minister of Justice released a statement exonerating the wife of the late minister which implicitly also denies allegations of her being „horrible, lying witch“.

The terrorist perpetrators are, as one could have guessed to be found among the rebel scum in Ambazonia, which marks just another peak in violence against the great people of Cameroon and their beloved government.

Censorship and surveillance in Cameroon?

(AS) Important information concerning the latest activities of the Cameroonian Minister of Justice has been leaked: Apparently, the current work of the Ministry of Justice involves the elaboration of a new legal framework enabling the usage of surveillance. The Minister of Justice considers the implementation of a framework allowing the state to monitor communication as necessary in the course of an emergency situation. Surveillance should be applied on all communication running over the servers of the state-owned telecom operator named CAMTEL (Cameroon Telecommunications).

In order to analyze the obtained information, the Minister of Justice furthermore demanded for the hiring of thirty employees working for the Intelligence services and being trained on communication analyses. In addition to that the country is working on a specific technology enabling the censorship of the Internet in certain regions of Cameroon. Are the Cameroonian people now facing a surveillance crisis? Le Sapeur will report.

„It’s not technically our fault“ – Interview with Ghanaian President and Minister of Defence

(BR) In an Interview with Le Sapeur Observant the President of Ghana expressed his deep condolences to the family of the American captain and his 7 Phillippino crew members killed by their kidnappers in Ghana. He also stressed, that although people got killed, 8 sailors were freed. Following accentuating his stance, by alling the operation a huge success, he expressed his grief over the comments of the US President and the cuts in USAID to Ghana. He repeatedly called Ghana the most important and reliable partner to the US in the region in promoting democracy and freedom. Additionally he criticised the US Administration for ignoring a request to send naval support combat piracy on the shores of Ghana.

In the joint press conference the Minister of Defence also criticised the international community and specifically the other nations in the region for not supporting the investigations: „We did all the Research on our own, we did not get any help“. On the topic of how the effort to free the hostages went down, she doubled down on rumours about possible involvement of Ghanaian officials in the kidnapping, stating that the hostages were indeed killed by the kidnappers and not the Ghanaian armed Forces: „It’s not technically our fault.“

She also supported her superior in his claim, that the Operation was a success, even though people lost their lives.

In the follow-up questions our reporter asked if there was any „fear of possible punishment by the US administration“ in terms of economical sanctions and cuts in aid to which the president replied that as an „independent country, the most stable in the region“ they have no fear of possible repercussions. When asked about a shift in „loyalty“ to another global player, in context on the already large investments of China in Ghana, the president praised the Chinese for their billions flooding into the country while the US are cutting aid.

When pressed on the issue of the continuing challenge of piracy off the shores of Ghana, the president laid out a combined strategy of promoting education and financial aid to the regions facing the problem.

Le Sapeur’s reporting is fair, balanced and honourable

(TR) Le Sapeur has always held itself to the highest possible journalistic standards and always will. In a global world, stories move fast and we move faster — but we are always committed to the principles of truth and fairness along the way. Never will we let anything stand between us getting the truth to you, our dear reader.

If you need more assurance of our quality and commitment to honest reporting, one of our journalists has just recently received a medal for his integrity from the Nigerian government for his work on the present crisis in that region. Competing publications cannot boast the same. That’s Le Sapeur – trusted by nations, trusted by you, our readers. We can’t do it without you.

Jealous Wife – Not Alive??!!

(BR) At 4pm the Cameroonian Federal Police raided the Yaoundé villa of the wife of late Defense Minister Edgar Alain Mebe Ngo‘o. She is currently in custody for alleged murder, as she is suspected to having first kidnapped and then poisoned her extremely popular husband. Our extremely reliable sources in the Cameroonian justice system told us that possible motives are jealousy of his Mistress(es) and even suspicions on her possible involvement in the vicious and brutal terrorists of the “Ambazonia” movement.

Le Sapeur will Keep you updated on the developments!

Opinion: Brace yourselves: Communism is coming!!!

(BR) As our Sources in the Nigerian Government report, the Administration in Abuja has called on China to fund education in their own Country.This poses the question: Come Chinese money, come Chinese ideology?

One could only imagine our poor children only learning about Marx, Lenin and Mao in School with all our traditions and historic and current achievements slowly vanishing from the collective memory until it’s all red.

On the other hand this could pose great possibilities for our children, to live as equals among each others – but do we really want that? All of them in tiny uniforms saluting red banners, marching in goose step and even playing with small, red wooden bricks? We´ll see…

You are not coming to Côte d’Ivoire? Absolutely incomprehensible.

(AS) Ever since the oil spill incident Côte d’Ivoire is desperately trying to persuade tourists to visit a country that has just suffered an environmental crisis – by means of alluring pictures and inviting hashtags like #cotedivoireadventures. Surprisingly, tourists prefer other destinations instead of the irresistible and promising oil spill adventure.

But Côte d’Ivoire does not give up, on the contrary: “Voluntourism” aims at combining tourism with cleaning the coast after the oil tanker attack. Still no tourists coming to this country? I wonder why. Since tourists are not willing to fight the oil spill, Côte d’Ivoire was forced to find another solution to this problem. Together with the EU environmental experts, Ivorian engineers created an ominous device cleaning up the coast. As the country did not have enough media coverage until now, it furthermore stressed its economic growth and its willingness to act as a role model for other countries.

Still not convinced to come to Côte d’Ivoire? Côte d’Ivoire will not give up until you are convinced!

US and Trump make closer ties with Cote d’Ivoire, arms deal brokered

(TR) Following a tweet by the US President stating that he would open new Trump hotels in the country and that this would “stabilize” the nation, the Secretary of State also told the Star that a new arms deal is being brokered between the two governments.

Exactly the nature of this arrangement is unclear, but it seems to be some kind of special agreement excluding other regional powers with whom the US is coordinating to deal with the oil spill and control the hostage situation unfolding. Despite or perhaps because of previous threats to withdraw US aid from Cote d’Ivoire, the African country appears to be trying to court favour with the Western superpower and with the president in particular.

The blurring of state operations of the US and the personal interests of President Donald Trump in the Ukraine scandal are under investigation in the US Congress presently. This investigation could lead to the US President’s impeachment. Could Cote d’Ivoire be the nail in the coffin?

Trump Clarifies That Pirates in the Gulf of Guinea aren’t Little Bastards!

(EK) Once more, President Donald Trump called the press “a stupid fake news organization”. He especially refers to the “Sub-Saharan Stern” and denies that he wouldn’t have called the pirates who kidnapped an oil tanker a few days ago in the gulf of guinea “little bastards”.
But on second view this is interesting! Why does he want to protect the pirates? Is he really interested in a solution for the crisis in gulf of guinea or does he have bigger interests? Interests like an invasion of the army in Western Africa in search of oil fields that should belong to America…?

Top 10 Most Dangerous Places To Live in Africa

(BM) #1 Niger Delta

Suffering from piracy, oil leaks and bad governance, the Niger Delta isn’t really a place you want to be right now. Recent terrorist attacks and an incompetent governmental answer make this place our top spot of the most dangerous places.

#4 Yola

And it’s Nigeria again. In recent days, violent uprisings and an iron-fisted police force struck this city like a lightning bolt in a drought. As we all know what to expect from the corrupt and selfish Nigerian government, it’s quite clear that this situation will not get better for quite a while.

#10 Ambazonia?

So far this region seems peaceful, but peaceful and stable are two different pairs of shoes. As Cameroon and Nigeria seem to take their old fight up again, this region could be on the top spot very soon.

Press Conference About Weapon Deal Announced

(EK) In an interview, Nigerian minister of defense admitted the rumors about secret trade negotiations with China. Given the fact that the press conference this evening is about a weapon deal, you can assume that the two nations work together on such a deal, although the topic of the deal was not definitely declared a military purpose.
According to anonymous informers and the Nigerian minister of defense himself, other countries are involved as well in that deal.
Is this deal a good solution for Nigeria, a country that is hardly affected by crisis of various kinds?

Big Weapon Deal in Progress

(EK) Based on rumors about a weapon deal between China and Nigeria of anonymous informers, an investigative team of journalists has been sent to the chinese government. The minister of defense trys holding back almost all the information about a weapon deal.

What we know so far: China has a collaboration with at least one other country about a weapon deal. It is also about an improvement of weapon technology. Do they fear a revolution against the communistic system like in June 1989 (Tiananmen Square Massacre) and need new weapon technology to fight against their own population just to hold on to the communist state form?

Nigeria refuses any statements about this deal. Presumably a big outrage in human ethics history is waiting for us!

Cote d’Ivoire’s silent adventures

(TR) While rumours of Nigerian corruption are everywhere, they are not the only nation in the Gulf who are involved in shady dealings. In the Cote d’Ivoire ministerial cabinet, there is a plan to steal oil barrels for profit off of the tanker where hostages were taken earlier today in Ghana territorial waters.

This bold plan of theft was not officially undertaken. But do we really know where the oil is now? All eyes are on the hostages and where they might be found, after two of them were brutally murdered. Could this whole hostage situation all be a ploy by Cote d’Ivoire to steal Nigerian oil? Le Sapeur is on the case.

“Quelle surprise” – violence at the border of Nigeria and Cameroon

(BR) Wow, news, shock… Violence erupted in the border province of Adamawa after the government moved its Security Forces to the south to protect the oilfields from further terrorist attacks. This incredible smart move by the Nigerian government will, and has for sure already cost peoples lives.

In response to the insecurity in the region the Cameroonians are increasing their border patrols and that is surely a good sign for the Nigerian government… Also they even had the audacity to tell the people of Adamawa that it will increase economical support for the region that had to suffer enormously under the yoke of „Boko Haram“ and Le Sapeur is looking forward to see that play out!

Fetishists Flood Ghanaian coastline

(BR) A white man was spotted in a remote town on the coast of Ghana. Local people claim, there has never been a „westerner“ in their hometown due to the critical security situation. Additionally, the man, supposedly a sex-tourist was involved in some weird fetish game, according to townspeople. Our reliable sources state, the man was gagged and cuffed and escorted by some young, quite handsome, muscular local fishermen into an abandoned building.

Ghana – Stable Country in a Shaken Part of the World

(EK) Although Ghana is affected by internal problems like a bad distribution of food leading to malnutrition in children, Alan Kyerematen (Minister of Trade and Investment) is convinced: Ghana has a stable economic situation like never before and will expand international trade leading to more prosperity for the Ghanaian inhabitants.

He also wants to further the education system, because this might be the key for economical growth. In the long run, Ghana pursues more international trade and is also willing to collaborate with China, knowing well that China is interested in buying up landscapes which are valuable in an agricultural sense.

At first glance, every individual has an important role and good chances of financial security. But what about their oil resources? What if global players start buying holdings and make the financial motor private? Can they preserve the stability and lasting peace of these days?

Swimming in oil? Côte d‘Ivoire’s tourism in danger

(AS) In the context of the latest oil tank spill near the east coast of Côte d’Ivoire, the country’s tourism sector is at stake. The tourism industry that has been developing since the early 1970s is facing cancellations of flights and reservations – a catastrophe, taking into account that tourism is a priority sector in the eyes of the government. According to the Minister of Economics and Finance all possible measures have to be taken in order to enable a pleasant traveling experience for the tourists. As only the east coast is affected, bookings may be changed and tourists are welcome to discover the west coast and the wonderful sights in the interior of the country. Apart from this, the government is working on a tourism campaign and trying to find further solutions to this aggravating problem. Another focus lies on the environment and means to protect the coasts. In terms of the incident itself, the government considers the oil tank spill as an unclear situation: In case the root cause lied in terrorist attacks, Côte d’Ivoire would like to increase the security of the coasts and fight terrorism while reacting more quickly than they did in this case. This would be of great importance since Cameroon already aims at picking up the slack and invites tourists to visit their country instead. It seems that beyond the oil slick, some competitors are waiting for Côte d’Ivoire to take the wrong step – we should keep an eye on this situation!

Opinion: Heroes of Africa

(BM) Finally! After years of suppression the people can strike back on their tyrants. Today, the brave warriors of the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta striked against Western and Eastern Neo-Colonialism. The destruction of an oil block isn’t just a big hit against the flow of cash and oil. It is a symbol of self-liberation of the free peoples of Africa.

In recent decades, the Big Men in Washington, London and Beijing changed their methods. They stopped enslaving our people and lands and started enslaving our economies and governments. This process has to be stopped. We have to stop looking out for help by the United Nations or the peaceful minds of the world. Now is the time to support those who stand up against Western and Eastern suppression and for Africa. Never before Africa was so much in need of heroes as of today. Maybe we found them.

Killers vs. Terrorists

(BR) As both the „Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta“, a trigger-happy so-called „liberation“ movement AND the crazy schoolgirl-kidnapping terrorists of „Boko Haram“ claim responsibility for the horrible attack on an oil facility in Nigeria one has to wonder if there is a „great clash of terrorists“ about to unfold in Nigeria. Maybe the Chinese or the Americans will serve as referees? Instead of blue helmets they get to wear some baseballcaps and instead of tanks and machine guns  they will be equipped with whistles? Your always reliable news source Sapeur TV™ has already requested the exclusive broadcasting rights as they will face in disciplines such as tanker-capturing, Pipeline-bombing, killing civilians… Sadly so far they did not find a Revenue for the „Olympiad of Bloodshed“.

Clothes make people?

(EK) In 1874 a new novel was published, its title: “Clothes make people”. Presumably the author, Gottfried Keller, noticed a similar phenomenon that can be seen in our society today – people are dressed in different ways. Those differences can be based on their profession, but you also could say social differences are shown in the way you are dressed. Are these just deviations concerning clothes or do people think their personality is more worthful compared to lower dressed people? The new successful movie “Joker” takes up this question amongst other things and creates an awareness of people with a lower social status.

Let’s leave the box of our European Western influenced horizon and refer our focus on Africa, West Africa. A showy but also elegant dressed man is there called “Sapeur”. This is based on protests in the Democratic Republic of Kongo in the 1970s when the society, that was not on President Joseph Mobutus side, wanted to express not being rebels or unrest pins. Does an elegant dress code or a particular Western business dress code automatically means peaceful people are at work, diligent people with good visions and ideas for a sustained future? Definitely not! This thesis is instantly destroyed by just having a look on some of non-democratic governments not only in Africa. On the other hand clothes have a social effect on people. Depending on your clothes, you can identify with a group you want to belong to. Most of the students arrive in sports gear to their lectures, even if the don’t really do sports. But in this case sport is an idol, something they want to be linked to, it also gives social membership. Of course, this can be transferred to a Western business clothes style. This kind of clothes stands for importance, reliability, prosperity and security. Values and norms people would like striving for.

Chinese Investments in danger?

(BR) After the terrible explosion on an oilblock in Nigeria yesterday questions are raised if the Chinese Investment program praised as the „New Silk Road“ is in danger. The „New Silk Road“ is an almost 1 trillion $ program by the Chinese government designed to create a kind of global economical hegemony only comparable to the late British Empire. China will, over the course of the next decades, invest in over 100 nations, obviously mainly in countries with lower economical power. The effort now comes under attack as the notorious West African terrorist organization „Boko Haram“ claimed responsibility for the attack on a Chinese-owned oil facility. In their statement, the terrorist leaders preach „May the Chinese end up in hell!“ which marks an interesting shift from their usual rhetoric against western countries, as Boko Haram in fact translates to „Western education is sin“. With the crisis unfolding. Maybe Eastern education will become a sin now.