Category: TICS 2018

[The Trojan Horse] Return of the “German Angst”

October 27, 2018

(hh) – The two train tragedies and the government measures that followed frightened the German public. Even businesses are anxious. People started hoarding random supplies such as food and drinks but also the hardware stores are being emptied as they do not know what or who they are actually preparing themselves against. Regulations from the states officials are not easing the situation. The limitation on cash withdrawal and transfers to only 1000€ per day has spurred the public’s anxiety on. “Just a basic, normal security measure.”, is Vice-Chancellor Seehofers response to the public insecurity. A cyber attack is a new challenge to the German Government as it is right now worldwide.

A competent source informed this newspaper, that the German stop on railway operations was mainly caused by the high cost of losing trains in accidents. Apparently, the commission is shocked about Germany ruining the EU economy. But taking action is not a very European virtue, so after expressing their disapprovement, they had to urgently leave off for lunch.

[The Wire] “Ongoing investigations”: Interview with the European Commissioner of Research, Science and Innovation

October 27, 2018

(pp) – We have seen two terrible train crashes in the heart of Europe within short time. And if that wouldn’t be enough, there are allegations that they were both caused by deliberately violent cyber attacks. How does the European Commission respond to this?

The European Commission is dismayed by the tragic attacks on public infrastructure. Information on the ongoing investigation is confidential, but we put all our researchers into the investigation of the attacks and if it turns out, that they were in fact caused by cyber attacks, we will have to secure our infrastructure even better. We are also aware of the threat toward other parts of the infrastructure which could be vulnerable, like the grid system, whose breakdown would cause much harm.

So the Commission actually has evidence that the crashes were caused by cyber attacks?

Indeed, we are taking this possibility into account.

If the allegations turn out to be true, what measures will the European Union take to secure its citizens?

We are convinced that the cyber space should not be lawless. If we can track down the attackers, they will have to face legal consequences. We will take all juridical measures at hand.

What measures exactly?

The criminal law to persecute the perpetrators is in place and we will not hesitate to display it.

So you are convinced, that the criminal law in Europe is sufficiently suited to respond to cyber crime?

Yes, it is. However, it is right that we haven’t been well-prepared in terms of an aligned European response to the crashes.

Does the evidence, the European Commission posesses, point towards a direction where the attacks might have come from?

I cannot comment on ongoing investigations. But the Commission will inform the public as soon as possible.

[The Trojan Horse] Total mayhem all over Germany

October 27, 2018

(br) – In the aftermath of the recent train crashes, which resulted in more than 200 casualties, the German government stopped all train service leading to a total traffic chaos. In fear of losing control of  its rioting citizens, the German government decided to reinvoke border controls by the federal police. A high ranking government official told us exclusively that Germany even plans to deploy troops of the Bundeswehr if the situation does not improve.

[The Wire] LEAKED NEWS: German Government takes up border control

October 27, 2018

(hh) – According to leaked documents, the German Government is temporarily reintroducing border control at the internal borders as a respond to the two incidents in Europe and Germany. The federal police office “Bundespolizei” will be in charge of the control measures. In order to prevent, the officials will be searching all visitors and suppliers.

The Government is accentuating that they will operate in full respect of the Grundgesetz and the European treaties. These measures will stay in place until internal security has been reestablished.

[The Trojan Horse] PUB CRAWL: It´s wine o´clock

October 27, 2018

(ah) – Good morning people! This journalist is ready to broadcast the night of yesterday.

They told me that the dinner was good.  At the exit we found the excom doing squats and jumping, yes, new method to wake up, yes, at nine in the evening.

Before the start of the pub crawl, we were divided into groups. I have to denounce it, the press was not in any, very sad. But don’t worry, we became part of the Germany cabinet.

The Pub Crawl starts: 1st place failed, however, in the second we could all sit and share. Angela Merkel has good stories and tips on “how to lose flights” ask her, she does know what she is talking about.

And how could it be otherwise, the shots came to us. Thanks to the backroom member for their hospitality, where they fit two, they fit three, right?

What about you? Did you have fun yesterday? Did you spot something to gossip about? Just send it to the gossip box and we will talk about it!